The Poms have been reduced to obeying the orders of their Yankee masters, albeit with the same arrogant, plum accents that wouldn’t have passed muster in Aussieland’s six o’clock swill.
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Julian Assange Arrested On Charges Of Not Shutting The Fuck Up About All That Shit. Such was the headline in Aussieland’s Betoota Advocate when the Pommies dragged Ocker home hero Julian Assange out of London’s Ecuadorian embassy to bang him up in Belmarsh Prison at His Majesty’s pleasure (but more so at that of failed POTUS candidate Hillary Clinton).
Say what you like about the cultural cringe of our Queensland colonial cousins but they sure can hit hammers on nails. According to the good folk of the Betoota Advocate, Australia’s oldest newspaper, which prides itself “on reporting fair and just news with the authenticity that rivals only the salt on the sunburnt earth that surrounds us here in the Queensland Channel Country”, Assange “faces up to five years in U.S. prison if convicted on the charges of conspiracy to commit not fucking up about all that shit”.
Who could argue other that Assange should be back home cracking tinnies, wrestling crocs, throwing newborn koalas on the barbie and all the other shit Aussies do when not sewing mailbags in Belmarsh?
And all for what? All for not fucking up about all that shit. If even the kangaroos in Australia’s outback know what a raw deal Assange is getting, what the fuck is wrong with the Poms and their Yankee masters that they will not just plonk Assange on a plane and send him back to all those crocodile wrestlers in the land down under.
Luckily, we have Michael Weiss, one of the most repulsive reptiles England’s fair and pleasant land ever spawned, to help us answer that. Here is this reptile in The Atlantic linking Assange to smearing dung on walls, killing kittens, Saddam Hussein and blaming the ills of the world on feminists and bespectacled Jewish writers.
Michael Weiss, for the record is, at the very least, a pro-Israeli fanatic in MI6’s Henry Jackson Society who was posted to Beirut, from where he shilled ceaselessly for the Syrian sectarian rebels and for the destruction of the Syrian people and the Syrian state. He has co-authored a book on ISIS, which follows the Hillary Clinton line that ISIS and their victims are in league together. Though further information about this far-right shoeshine boy may be gleaned by sniffing his bile here, here, here and here, he is included here to illustrate what low lives most of Albion’s Eton educated Yankee shoe shine boys are. You would have more hope of finding leprechauns at the bottom of your garden than Assange would of getting a glimmer of justice from those prats.
Although one of their number used to sing that only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun ditty, those days of Empire are long gone. Now, as the excellent American TV period drama Mad Men shows, the Poms have been reduced to obeying the orders of their Yankee masters, albeit with the same arrogant, plum accents that wouldn’t have passed muster in Aussieland’s six o’clock swill.
If Aussieland’s cricket hooligans of Bay 13 are too much to bear, look at the same process here on the football terraces of Anfield, where there is an obvious disconnect between the plummy BBC wanker and the good natured ruffians of the Kop (so named after their Spion Kop defeat at the hands of the Boers).
Though British justice was never designed for their type, it has further degenerated into being a despised tool of Yankee Doodle Dandy’s Pax Americana, which demands Assange’s head on the charges of “conspiracy to commit not fucking up about all that shit”.
We get that Yankee Doodle’s Jimmy Cagney was a great dancer and, according to Orson Welles, the best actor ever. We get that, according to Mad Men, Krushchev caused the Cuban Missile Crisis because he could not get into Disneyland and that Allende did not understand the consequences of not accepting the CIA’s form of democracy at the point of a Pinochet bayonet.
We get all that and more because the late Aussie John Pilger got the CIA and their British manservants to confess to the world those sins against “the third world” for which there is no forgiveness. We get all that and why you have to bang Assange up for “conspiracy to commit not fucking up about all that shit”. We get all that and that British toads like Michael Weiss would carry Assange off to the Tower of London and hang, draw and quarter him for starters if he could, and that CIA overlords want to bring him to Guantanamo and endlessly torture him for their own perverted sexual pleasure.
We get all of that but you and your British doormats have to likewise see that a large section of British, Australian and American society have had a gut full of your antics and that, to avert the coming storm, you should send Assange home to the koalas, the wallabies, the killer spiders, the man eating crocs and, if he’s up for it after all them, bay 13 and the six o’clock swill.
Life will go on with or without Assange, just as it goes on with or without the millions of other victims of Yankee Doodle Dandy and his prim and proper British footmen. The good people of Betoota will continue with their cricket and their barbies when the final stumps are drawn and, like all other Aussies, they will read the Betoota Advocate and sneer at the snooty nosed Pommie Lords and Ladies of the bench, who tie themselves in moral and legal knots to satiate, at their compatriot’s expense, the blood cravings of Hillary Clinton, Obama and all those other Yankee jackals who, despite Cagney’s fancy footwork, bring only the world’s opprobrium on Yankee Dooodle Dandy’s non-stop meddling “over there” to “make your mother proud of you And the old red, white and blue”, which because of Julian Assange and many others “not fucking up about all that shit” now ranks alongside the German swastika as our era’s epitime of evil.
